Complexity of behavior cannot be
reduced on simple gender differences. There are a
whole host of factors that go into explaining why
people behave the way they do: upbringing, environment,
stresses, emotional stability, current situation,
even physical and mental health. To claim that all
men act a certain way, and that if you as a woman
give him a formulaic response to his behaviour, you
will get everything you want out of him, is patronizing.
Further more, it’s disrespectful of the person
as an individual, and reduces them to cartoon figures
of ‘male’ and ‘female’ that
don’t do justice to the real person beyond their
gender.
For example, Grey's favourite
metaphor is that a man is like a rubber band, and
in relationship he frequently needs to get away from
his partner, and spend some time alone, ruminating
in his 'cave'. On the other hand, women don't have
as much a need for going into a 'cave'. They are not
like a rubber band, either; they are waves, who 'crash'
from time to time simply because 'crashing' is in
their nature.
Unfortunately, this premise subconsciously
enforces stereotypes of men as 'cavemen', Neanderthals,
who are unable to express their emotions, unable to
deal with difficult, complex situation, or even just
unable to deal with the woman in their life. While
the metaphors may sound intelligent, even inspired,
on paper, they do not translate well to real life.
Many men are sensitive, intelligent human beings,
adept at understanding and relating to the women in
their lives and also to the emotional demands that
a relationship makes. It is true that men do need
solitude every once in a while to rest and recharge
their batteries
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