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9 am. The family cook has become
ill, so we are at a loss for prepared dishes. I decide
to valiantly replace the cook for as many days as is
necessary, offering to cook one meal a day (I’d
offer two, but I’m not crazy). I imagine myself
in all sorts of cooking scenarios, including preparing
grand three course meals and receiving bouts of applause
from hungry, grateful family members.
10 am. My decision to become a Cordon Bleu chef is strengthened
by fortuitous find in Agha’s Supermarket: large
white book sixteen hundred pages longing with the promising
title How to Cook Everything. Accompanied by
clever little CD-ROM which indexes every recipe and
puts together fantastic meals for all occasions, all
to the accompaniment of tinkling music.
11:30 am. After playing with the CD-ROM for fifteen
minutes, I decide to get started on cooking lunch for
family. The best is to start with something simple,
such as pasta with fresh tomato sauce. Any decent, self-respecting
girl from good family should know how to make this dish
in order to impress everyone. I have done this thousands
of times before – it should be easy to substitute
fresh tomato sauce for sauce found in bottle.
12:00 pm. Gather best tomatoes and settle down to peel
and chop them. The recipe calls for making small X in
bottom of tomato. With first X, slice not just tomato
but thumb as well. Blood wells everywhere, dripping
onto
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